Stories

Movie Star with Vanilla Milkshake Pt. 1

I dream in so many neon colors

& I don’t even know what to do with myself. This is not a matter of when / I am going to ice my cake, or when I am going to stop pretending / that none of us exist in real life. I exist / in real life. That is something you have / to understand. I am the biggest success story I know. Tomorrow, I will buy out / an entire bakery. All of the cakes / will have my name written on them / as chocolate gold. We are all celebrating the same / sort of misery. We sleep to get through life. I want to crawl / into a teacup & sleep forever.

 

Once, I was born

& it was November, & I have never stopped telling lies. I don’t remember anything / about what it means to be young. I know everything / about my youth. We throw split limes into trashcans / to make them smell like our mothers. We carve candy apples / until they glisten. An imaginary afternoon / in October. I core the apples & I am the one / who plants the seeds. When saplings / pop through the soil, I am the one who is congratulated. I am responsible / for all this life. I bow.

 

I am considering quitting my day job

but not unless I am offered a raise. This wouldn’t be funny / if it were true. If I were to elope in Vegas / flanked by a herd of elephants, I don’t think people would be very / surprised. It is difficult to shock / the public. If you were to walk into a Starbucks in New Hampshire & order / a tall iced dirty chai latte with extra soy milk / & I were the one to turn around & serve it to you / would you be surprised? I promise / to spell your name right. I promise to hand you a straw / so you don’t have to get one yourself. You’re welcome. I have never been to college / & I’m smarter than most people. I know exactly / what I’m doing.